Loneliness is the foundation of everything we struggle with. We experience its ripple effects: hurt, fear, and anger - but are never able to identify the feeling itself. We distract ourselves, lash out, or shut down entirely. Anger is hurt in disguise. Hurt comes from fear. And fear, at its core, is rooted in loneliness - the absence of something we need.

The biggest struggles in our lives revolve around this absence. Death, money, intimacy, race, religion - these are the forces that shape our needs and anxieties. Then, there are the four through which we express those needs: love, work, play, and rest. When they are in balance, we are in balance. When they are not, we feel the weight of something missing. And that absence manifests as loneliness, whether we recognize it or not.

The experience of loneliness is not just about being alone. It is about feeling disconnected, unseen, or lacking something essential. The same small frustrations that might roll off our backs on a good day suddenly hit like a wound on a bad one. We become more reactive, more fragile, more easily angered or hurt. But it isn’t the world that has changed - it’s our own internal state. The presence or absence of loneliness dictates how we move through life, how we interpret the things that happen to us, and how we respond to them.

So how do we move forward? That answer is different for everyone. Some people seek fulfillment in relationships, others in work, spirituality, or personal growth. But the key is recognizing that anger, sadness, and frustration are often symptoms, not causes. When we ask ourselves, “What am I really missing?” we begin to uncover what we truly need.

When we have what we need, when we feel seen, when we are in tune with ourselves - we are not lonely. And when we are not lonely, we are not angry, not fearful, not burdened by the weight of what’s missing. We exist fully, connected to the world, to others, and to ourselves. And in that state, everything becomes clearer. Life is no longer about reacting to the absence of something. It is about moving forward with what is present.