Who are we, really? It’s easy to believe the answer lies in the stories we tell about ourselves. We define ourselves by what we think we like, dislike, or excel at - but how can we be certain that these definitions are accurate? What if our understanding of who we are is shaped more by circumstance than by reality?

Imagine, for instance, someone who avoids bikes because of a childhood fall. They might confidently declare, “I hate biking,” believing it to be a core part of their identity. But what if that early experience was just a detour, hiding a natural passion? Perhaps they could have been a skilled cyclist in another lifetime. Our identities are often built on moments like this: snapshots that don’t tell the full story.

To some extent, our instincts guide us toward what feels good or right. Biology and predetermination absolutely play a role in shaping our preferences and behaviors. Yet, nurture and environment are just as important, often distorting or reinforcing parts of ourselves in ways we’ll never understand. Our upbringing, experiences, and even fleeting encounters create layers that obscure who we might truly be.

So, how do we uncover our true selves? Peeling back the layers of our experiences, biases, and assumptions requires introspection. We’d have to question everything about ourselves: our childhood, our choices, even our instincts. This isn’t feasible. Perhaps then, it isn’t about finding a ‘true self’ at all. Maybe it’s about embracing the fluidity of who we are - understanding that we are shaped as much by what we’ve done as by what we might have avoided.

This then raises a compelling question: when faced with a choice, how should we decide? Should we act based on who we think we are, or try to guess what our ‘real’ self might do? There is no answer. Even our instincts, which we often rely on as a compass, are influenced by layers of conditioning. At best, this kind of introspection provides a tool for self-awareness - a way to explore our motivations and consider alternative paths.

Ultimately, it’s not about creating doubt or chasing an ideal. It’s about recognizing that identity is both a journey and a conversation within ourselves. By listening to all the voices that make us who we are - our instincts, our experiences, and even the contradictions - we can move forward in harmony. Whether we’re becoming who we were destined to be or simply evolving into someone new, the goal is to embrace the complexity and beauty of the process.